O what lies yonder north of Tweed?
Monsters and hillmen, hairy kneed
And music that wad wauk the deid!
To venture there were risky O!
The fearsome haggis haunts the snaw
The kelpy waits - your banes to gnaw
There's nocht to eat but oatmeal - raw
BUT I'M STILL TOLD THERE'S WHISKY O!
-Anonymous Scottish Poet
Found in Deborah Crombies:
Now May you weep